Depressed...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by x_RedAura_x, Jun 29, 2015.

  1. x_RedAura_x

    x_RedAura_x Well-Known Member

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    hi guys :(

    This is a depressing story im going through right now...
    Im 15, still young i know, but im already depressed. I know you guys will go like ''oh you're 15, you wont know what depression feels like" but trust me, i know, CUZ IVE BEEN THROUGH IT, and its hitting me again...
    Read my description, i have ocd, and always have seen the age of what, 10? It hasnt been so serious until i was 12 and got hit by depression. Luckily, i lived through it and was happy again. But after three years it fuck me up again.
    Last year december i got hit by ocd so hard. I managed to overcome most of it tho some of it still follows me, but now it ain't ocd, it's depression.
    Im 15, has a heart disease, has ocd and now depression. Most of you wouldn't know how it feels like being depressed, but i know it well enough for i experienced it twice, now much more serious than the first time.
    I was depressed for almost reason (actually, i developed a fear of being alone. I was afraid that when i grew up i will be lonely and sad :(, thats how my depression developed). I was moody, loss my appetite and i can't sleep. With exams coming i have no idea how i can handle it.
    I hadn't visit a therapist or talked to anyone including my parents, except yall, my dear forumers. I just feel the need to share my life with yall.

    To many, i believe, they wont believe my story. I was happy among friends and people i know but deep inside was darkness.

    Its extremely tiring and pain living in depression. I feel like i will NEVER recover from it and i will never be happy again. I wake up thinking each day my depression will intensify...

    I just find life...hopeless and meaningless. Im afraid one day i couldn't take it anymore, im really really afraid guys...

    I need advice :(

    P.s. Please dont tell this to anyone except yourselves
     
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  2. WhiteC

    WhiteC Active Member

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    Through experiences I have had in life which I am not going to talk about I have come to the conclusion that we all have ups and down and in your case, some more than others.

    As you said you're still young and you have had a bad hand dealt, but give it time. People are around to help, don't hesitate to talk to people about your issues, your parents, friends, siblings are all people that in most cases would do anything to make you feel better.

    If all else fails get a pet, something to focus on and care about will make you appreciate life!
     
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  3. x_RedAura_x

    x_RedAura_x Well-Known Member

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    Main reason is I know theres a cure and i will find my way out but my brain keeps fucking me up.
    Im worrying too much about my future, being alone and whatsoever . Thats the main issue im always overthinking.

    One moment im like "i will recover. I will be a happy person when im adult" but the next moment its like "hahaha dreamon! Ur life's never gonna be good if ur single and alone" thats the issue
     
  4. WhiteC

    WhiteC Active Member

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    I had the same worries at your age, things will pick up, when you get to college/university/work you will have a fresh restart to make new friends and a new community.

    Or if you're like me and spend all time inside gaming, and are happy with it then that's fine also :-D.
     
  5. xiphoidDonut

    xiphoidDonut Well-Known Member

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    Just breathe, think positively and realise that you're not alone.
     
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  6. x_RedAura_x

    x_RedAura_x Well-Known Member

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    Thx guys really appreciate it. BUt i think i'll still suffer for a few more months.
    Irony is i have alot of precious buddies in my life. Im not alone in sch and i make lots of friends
    But i just cant accept the fact of me living alone and lead a lonely life. I'd probably get a pet dog when i grow up but i just cant live without people's company

    Feeling better tho :) but im sure tmr i'd feel even more stressed out
     
    WhiteC likes this.
  7. Swedishviking

    Swedishviking Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Take one day at a time, talk to somebody about it
     
  8. Quang

    Quang Active Member

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    Right now, I have some changes going on in my life and I feel pretty damn depressed too. I want you to know that it's all gonna be alright and you should actually sit down with someone you trust and talk to them about it. We are people over the internet and although we can make an impact, it won't have as much of an impact compared to talking to someone you know about it. Hope everything gets better man and best of luck on those exams.
     
  9. insigh1hoc

    insigh1hoc Active Member

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    Hi red. I am rather old compared to you so I hope I can offer a little wisdom.. you will always have some darkness in your life, but don't get stuck and do anything stupid. You have many people that truly love you where life wouldn't be the same without your presence.

    Realize that you are far more valuable than you think.. find a goal, passion, spiritual connection that points you to your purpose. That will get you ahead in many areas of your life.

    If you hit rock bottom, just know that you can only go up. Man up and let us all know how you got over this in a few months.

    Life isnt good, but people that can push through it are simply amazing.
     
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  10. Akise

    Akise no longer Detective

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    It's clever how deceitful this forum can be; especially hiding problems like a mental illness as they can masquerade this unstableness. I thought before that I did have depression, but I saw one of my friends (irl) being very quiet and not earnest when telling us whether there is something wrong. It was pictured like:

    They see their friend talking with another person, not showing a slight notice of them. Then this 'illness' deceives them, telling them that they are not worth the attention of your friends, they are worried if the relationships between their family and friends are sincere and not because they have to - it's an awful thing to have to endure every. single. day.

    I would abhor this types of situation, but I swear that I would support anyone who is going through this. I hope that you're okay and overcome this. The world is a shadow, but you are one of its light.
     
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  11. oOpromahdiOo

    oOpromahdiOo Member

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    You will become well dont worry my brother
     
  12. Devomoon

    Devomoon Active Member

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    Depression can be a serious thing, but just know that you're not the only one going through it, and that many people overcome it. Talking about it is important, and if saying it here helps, that's a good start! But try maybe also talking about it to someone you can trust, you'll be surprise how much people want to help once they realize you have a problem.

    Cheers!
     
  13. x_RedAura_x

    x_RedAura_x Well-Known Member

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    Thanks guys yall helped a lot :)))
    Still not comfortable talking to someone yet, i dont want to worry my parents.
    I think i'll write a diary everyday, last time i tried my depression lifted
     
  14. Akise

    Akise no longer Detective

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    It's better to voice out the droning feelings in your head, even privately in an ordinary notebook.

    ... let it go, let it go. Can't han-
     
  15. Jacke0

    Jacke0 I love Akise

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    Hello bro xD
    Sad u r going through this
    I had this while ago
    I would recommond u to not "over think ever " it is really bad and gets u even mind depressed ... Don't stay alone looking at the roof ... Stay with someone or do something ... Just don't overthink .., it hurts mentally and physically....
    Just live the moments .. Never think About the future u will get worried and don't think too much about past either
    Well I couldn't say more than that and I hope u get better with the time bro :)
    Best wishes
     
  16. yololtroll

    yololtroll Well-Known Member

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    "Don't Stop Believin'"

    Just a small town girl
    Livin' in a lonely world
    She took the midnight train
    Goin' anywhere
    Just a city boy
    Born and raised in South Detroit
    He took the midnight train
    Goin' anywhere

    A singer in a smokey room
    The smell of wine and cheap perfume
    For a smile they can share the night
    It goes on and on and on and on

    Strangers waiting
    Up and down the boulevard
    Their shadows searching
    In the night
    Streetlight people
    Livin' just to find emotion
    Hidin' somewhere in the night

    Workin' hard to get my fill
    Everybody wants a thrill
    Payin' anything to roll the dice
    Just one more time
    Some will win
    Some will lose
    Some were born to sing the blues
    Oh, the movie never ends
    It goes on and on and on and on

    Strangers waiting
    Up and down the boulevard
    Their shadows searching
    In the night
    Streetlight people
    Livin' just to find emotion
    Hidin' somewhere in the night

    [Instrumental interlude]

    Don't stop believin'
    Hold on to that feelin'
    Streetlight people
    Don't stop believin'
    Hold on
    Streetlight people
    Don't stop believin'
    Hold on to that feelin'
    Streetlight people
     
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  17. WhiteC

    WhiteC Active Member

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    Just don't listen to Gary Jules - Mad World!
     
  18. yololtroll

    yololtroll Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, that is a very very very downer song!
     
  19. x_RedAura_x

    x_RedAura_x Well-Known Member

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    Dammit...
    I can possibly overcome the fear of being alone,
    But now im anxious and depressed over the fact that I AM DEPRESSED and IT WILL NEVER RECOVER...(seeing other people with past experiences it took forever to recovef :( )
     
  20. x_RedAura_x

    x_RedAura_x Well-Known Member

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    And really, im feeling as though life is boring and u interesting, there's nothing to look forwsrd to
     

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